Rick Pitino is Ugly

"Players popping up out of stage with fog and ushers ridic outfit to mini concert. SO MUCH FLUFF I could sneeze on it" - Dina Hiramanek

As many of you know, I am very upset I was unable to attend this year's all-star game in Dallas. I am even more disappointed that Pitino beat Syracuse in the Dome. Rick Pitino is so ugly I honestly wonder how it's possible he had an extramarital affair at all. I am shocked that he was able to have sexy time in an empty restaurant while his friends hung around.



But, enough about that atrocious cheater. I'm sorry Dina - Usher can do no wrong in my book.

Athlete sex scandals: Was 2009 the worst?

2009 wasn't too good for most people. The groundbreaking reality of electing a minority President began to become overshadowed by economic struggles and a failed plane bombing on Christmas Day. Not even several prominent sports celebrities could escape the unwanted press. As we have already discussed here at CCUB, many big-time athletic figures decided to adopt the coupon-book mentality that if you commit to one woman, you should get another one on the side for free. To make matters worse, Pitino and Carroll emerged from these embarrassing incidents relatively unscathed (Fortunately, I don't think that Tiger Wood's donation to Haiti, while incredibly generous, will undo the fact that he wrongly cheated on women that were not comparable to Elin in the first place)!

Some of these cheaters (Pitino) confronted any rumors of infidelity head on, leading to diminished speculation on their actions, and allowing the media to move on to more pressing issues. Others (Woods) tried to evade the accusations and had the whole situation blow up in their face. Regardless of how these athletic figures chose to approach the fact that they cheated, all of these consecutive high-profile instances of marital infidelity seemed to make 2009 an unusually big year on the cheating front. Besides these three, other alleged instances of cheating include Steve McNair and David Beckham. Has recent history provided us any comparable years of infidelity?

2003 will always be remembered by the Kobe Bryant controversy, but it wasn't the only memorable act of cheating. Who can forget football coach Mike Price, who decided to celebrate his hiring by having sex with a stripper (Alabama definitely knows how to pick 'em, because this came four years after their football coach Mike Dubose had an alleged affair with his secretary)?!

In 2004, we had big-time athletes like Alex Rodriguez getting it on with an ex-stripper, the first of many alleged affairs for Rodriguez (and as we all know, only the beginning of Rodriguez's image problems). We also had David Beckham (the guy cannot keep it in his pants) banging his nanny. And last, but certainly not least, we had Colorado Rockies pitcher Denny Neagle, who apparently decided that if you are going to cheat on your wife and ruin your career, you might as well do so in grand fashion. Not only did he receive oral sex in his car from a prostitute while drunk, but he was also ticketed for speeding. Go Denny go.

These gentlemen were all valiant in their quest to be the biggest douchebag, but the results don't lie. Tiger and 2009 take the cake for marital infidelity.

Baby mama drama

Rick Pitino looks like a man that would become involved in a sex scandal, no?

Pitino has some skeletons in his closet, turns out.  In 2003 his eye wandered from his wife to a crazy woman named Karen Cunagun.  The mother of 4 and Pitino enjoyed a classless romp at a Louisville restaurant in August of 2003.  Two and a half to three weeks later the bitty cried prego.  Any father of 5 should know it usually takes longer than 2 1/2 to 3 weeks to discover you're pregnant.  A smart man would have demanded to see the stick.  Since the police report doesn't indicate whether Pitino did solicit such proof, I digress.

Crazy Karen proceeded to request $3,000 for an abortion.  This is Pitino's next mistake.  Abortions don't cost $3,000 unless you're traveling to some lavish, secret abortion spa the rest of the population is unaware of.  On the other hand, perhaps Kentucky is more "conservative" when it comes to these things, driving up the price (economics disincentives... of all the nerve).  Other reports indicate the money was for health insurance rather than an abortion.  Regardless, thus began the extortion.  

The plot thickens.  This agreement was reached at the apartment of Tim Sypher who later became this crazy bitch's wife.  According to police reports, during the meeting, Pitino gave the crazy pregnant bitch a glass of wine.  When you're pregnant you shouldn't be consuming alcohol.  It should come as no surprise that the Syphers are in the midst of a divorce; any relationship founded on the sloppy seconds are your boss is destined to fail (particularly when you are delivering "messages" from your wife to her ex-lover demanding money - talk about an awkward work environment)!  

Finally, at one point a request for $10 million was made.  Listen, the point of paying you off, Crazy Karen, is so that wifey doesn't find out her husband is such a skank he banged you in a restaurant (I mean he didn't even get your cheap ass a hotel room)!!!  Swiping a cool $10 mill. isn't what one might call "incog," i.e. incognito.  At that rate he'd be better off getting a divorce!!  It'd be cheaper!

I find several things shocking about this.  For starters, Pitino's getting tons of support and everyone contacted is "standing by" Pitino.  THE MAN CHEATED ON HIS WIFE!  I would be fine with a more neutral comment but don't act like the man didn't do ANYTHING wrong!  This is the South we're talking about... unless it's Southern California, extramarital affairs are taboo!

Second, I fathom how this Tim Sypher character thought it appropriate to marry Crazy Karen!  The man had ever forewarning that the bitch was out of her mind crazy and yet he still married her.  This supports the argument that men love crazy bitches and women love ass holes.  You heard here first!  Haha!