Burress Loving Life In Prison and Is Happy to Stay Forever... JK

Plaxico Burress has filed a motion in court seeking work release. Work release is available only to non-violent offenders and is granted extremely infrequently. Although Plaxico did plea to a lesser, non-violent, charge rather than the one he was originally charged with, it's pretty safe to say his days of clenching soap for dear life aren't over yet.

What I found most interesting about this is that an article I read stated that Plaxico was unlikely to get released because he "narrowly missed" a security guard with the bullet that ultimately ended up in Plaxico's leg. Riddle me this, what was a security guard doing that close to Plaxico's pelvic-thigh region?!

Flashing Lights and Shooting Stars

Are athletes too soft? I mean, there used to be a stigma that pro athletes were "ghetto" and knew what was up in the 'hood. But seriously, learn to use a gun or just don't carry one.

First, there was the controversy over Bassy Telfair's chain and the mysterious Fabolous shooting. It's not a secret Telfair likes firearms of the unregistered variety as evidenced by his several arrests on gun charges. In fact, just a few months after the Fabolous incident, Telfair was arrested on the westside highway in New York City the day after the Celtics failed to make the playoffs with an unregistered gun. He was also driving without a license. Telfair, if you want to carry a gun around, don't do it to look cool, f'in use that thing when someone is trying to gank the chain off your neck you pansy!

Second, we have the lesson on when NOT to use your gun. I think you all know where this is going. Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg last year causing himself a great deal of pain. That's right, it hurts when you shoot yourself AND they still put you in jail for it. Enough said, I think you all get the point here.

Finally, Jayson Williams will allegedly plead guilty this Friday to reduced charges after accidentally shooting and killing his driver. It is expected he will serve between 18 months and 3 years in jail. On the one hand, at least Williams didn't shoot himself. On the other, WHAT THE F WHERE YOU THINKING KILLING SOMEONE?! If you don't know how to use a gun, PUT IT DOWN.

Plaxico Begins 2 Year Sentence

Plaxico Burress began his 2 year prison sentence today after pleading guilty to felony weapons charges last month. Burress will likely serve 20 months of his two year sentence. What's wrong with a country that wastes talent and money sending a man who shot himself in the leg to jail? It's no wonder our economy sucks - when the Constitution expressly guarantees the right to bear arms, I seriously wonder how free Americans really think this country is when we're paying for someone to go to jail for 2 years because he SHOT HIMSELF!!!

Criminal Minds

Is it just me, or are athletes being indicted now more than ever?  Between Stallworth, Pierce, Burress, and Vick I feel like athletes stampeding our criminal courts.  Perhaps it is just a perception.  Perhaps it is just that there is more media attention to these indictments.  Sure, we were always going to hear about the O.J. Simpsons of the bunch.  And, undoubtedly, Michael Vick was a good opportunity for prosecutors to make a "spectacle."  

Another minor league pitcher has been indicted for hitting a fan in the head with a ball intended for the opposing team's dugout during a bench-clearing brawl.  Sentenced to 30 days in jail, ordered to work toward his GED, and 3 years probation along with anger management courses, Julio Castillo certainly got the most severe punishment of all the players involved in the brawl.  And why, because he's a bad pitcher?  Let's face it, I'd expect a pitcher of all players to be able to hit his target!  But that's here nor there.  Shouldn't each and every player be indicted?  They all participated and I don't think a brawl was within the scope of their consent so unless everyone else just stood around like little girls they all committed crimes!

Why should Castillo face two felony charges - assault with a deadly weapon and causing serious physical harm?  First of all, I am not convinced a baseball is a deadly weapon.  Sure, when thrown by a professional pitcher it is.  But, if that is the standard then every time Merriweather throws a punch it's assault with a deadly weapon.  Since I don't believe that average person throwing a baseball has the ability to kill someone I strongly oppose the conclusion that this is a "deadly weapon."  Which seriously draws into question the capacity of Castillo's lawyer.  

Second, I don't qualify a headache as serious physical harm.  In most states, serious physical harm is defined by statute.  Because I'd rather draw the conclusion that people in Ohio are pansies, I haven't researched the existence of an OH statute.  However, any state that deems a buckeye intimidating is likely to think a headache is serious.  A rational state, for example, New York, defines a serious injury as loss of limb, life, serious disfigurement, etc.  Certainly a headache would not qualify.  Again, I have to question Castillo's legal assistance.  

Which ultimately leads me to question why these athletes are being indicted and charged for these crimes.  Obviously in some cases its undeniable that they committed them.  Indeed, frequently they plead guilty and take full responsibility like Stallworth.  Other times athletes try and play the popularity card to avoid criminal charges, like Burress.  Apparently it works sometimes, look at O.J.  Other times it does not.  Look at O.J.  I also wonder whether these new strict "conduct" rules by the NFL and other leagues are actually leading to greater criminal charges.  It seems to me that there has been a rise in criminal charges since Goodell has implemented stricter rules in the NFL.  I haven't seen a similar rise in charges against basketball players.  Come to think of it, when the NBA was trying to be more strict it seems to me the players were getting arrested more often.  I'll have to run some numbers on this hypothesis and get back to you...

Of course, the answer could be that we have become more interested in criminal activity in the Nancy Grace era resulting in greater media attention.  Who knows.  Nonetheless, it does seem to me that something's up.

A shot in the dark

Obviously, we must address the Burress/Pierce grand jury hearings.  As a preliminary matter, let's get Pierce out of the way since he wasn't indicted.  The Giants have gone on the record saying they don't believe what Pierce did, aka removing a weapon used to shoot a man in a night club and returning it to his home to evade police detection, warranted criminal charges.  The possible charge is called obstruction of justice.  Obstruction of justice occurs when an individuals goes out of their way to prevent "justice" from being serve, i.e., a criminal from being caught.  That is EXACTLY what Pierce did.  

Nonetheless, the grand jury probably agreed that justice had been served here.  I mean, the idiot shot himself in the leg.  Isn't that punishment enough!?  Not to mention the negative publicity, loss of his career, and embarrassment Burress has endured.  

Next, I would like to address how odd it is, from a legal perspective, that Burress' lawyer advised him to testify before the grand jury.  As everyone points out, he's admitted everything the prosecution will need to prove his guilt which weakens his bargaining position.  Sure, perhaps "cooperating" might be favorable on some level but you should get something for it!  Unless there is something worked out that no one knows about, I can't imagine why Burress would show up without pleading the 5th to anything.  It simply doesn't make any sense to me.  I haven't read anything with respect to an agreement but I am interested to find out what sort of arrangement was worked out because I refuse to believe Burress voluntarily showed up and admitted the prosecution's case for the sake of comity.