Celtics Losing Eye Candy? Say it ain't so!

Those of you who know me are aware of my affinity for extremely tall black men with incredible physiques. That is why Rasheed Wallace is #1 on my list of NBA players to make out with before I die. As a disclaimer, I would never actually make out with any NBA player. The good news for me is that Wallace might soon be a retired NBA and that, my friends, is a horse of a different color.

Let us not dwell on 'Sheed's marriage or children. Rather, I will draw the focus to what attracts me to Wallace, aside from the aforementioned characteristics.

First, Wallace is known as an NBA bad boy, currently holding the all time ejection record for the NBA (at least since they started recording this in 1992). Riddle me this, what girl doesn't like a bad boy?! Not this one! Just check out dude's tats and tell me you aren't swooning!!

Second, his scruffy look is just plain sexy. He's the perfect height at just under 7 feet meaning that I could wear even my highest stilettos without having to worry about being too tall.

Finally, he's probably the only guy old enough to date me in the league who isn't totally busted (e.g. Kobe Bryant).

The point: 'Sheed, if you do retire, as Doc Rivers is reporting, I will sincerely miss the best eye candy the Celtics have had since Szczerbiak left...