Cheaters, Cheaters, Wifey Beaters

Why does it seem like everything keeps coming back to cheating? Just when you think we had virtually exhausted the ways athletes find to be dishonest, Warren Sapp decides to raise the bar by adding yet another to the list. (While it’s been rumored that the Curves’ exposé of falsifications were what spurred the retired defensive tackle take action on the cheating front, it is yet to be confirmed.) Whatever the motive, Sapp decided to cheat the legal system last weekend when he conned a judge into expediting his release from jail.

The offense? Choking and throwing his girlfriend for the male contacts in her phone. The repercussions? A whopping one hour in jail. Afterwards, Sapp apologized for, “…taking away any distraction from today’s big game [the Super Bowl]”. Wow, he’s good. No wonder they released the Dancing with the Stars runner-up in less time than it took him to hustle to “Funkytown”: it’s clear he sees the bigger picture and feels remorse for his actions. Forget apologizing for beating a woman less than half your size – potentially distracting from the national holiday of Super Bowl Sunday is obviously a much more serious offense. Idiot.