Where to start? On Friday, I was driving home in morning traffic - stop, get your minds out of the gutter - and I heard the most amazing stories on the radio. The first topic is of extreme interest to me and has nothing to do with sports but absolutely must be discussed.
When I was a young girl, my family played board games all the time. Correction. We'd play Monopoly all the time. It was terrible. We are all so competitive, that the game would inevitably end in arguing and with an annoying, gloating winner. I always thought to myself that we needed to do away with the tradition. Granted, the game has numerous positive attributes, but all those positives pale in comparison to the aftermath that followed. Now after hearing this radio discussion, I 100% believe that the game needs to be taken off the market. Word is that a husband was arrested after slapping his wife across the face for not selling him Boardwalk and Parkplace. REALLY? Apparently, she was hit hard enough that her glasses flew off her face. REALLY? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME? Her husband apparently went to jail. I don't even want to get into why this woman even agreed to play the game in the first place knowing her husband's temper and unrelenting desire for BWandPP, but this I will say this, "WTF man... talk about love lock down."
Kayne West apparently is responsible for the break up of Kim and Reggie, which actually makes me really sad. I really liked them. Apparently Kim and Kayne hung out one night, and Kayne became absolutely smitten. His texts, read by Reggie, proclaimed his not so secret desires, which understandably made Reggie quite unhappy. Now, I have only two things to say about this. One, "Shame on you Kayne. You should probably start pumping some iron, or hire a few extra body guards because compared to Reggie, your just a 'Little Guy'. I think you two should just settle this in the most decent way possible, put on some gloves and get in the ring." Secondly, "Call me Reggie."
Monica Conyers apparently stole several thousands of dollars worth of office supplies when she left her Detroit political office. Some speculate that she was hiding digital cameras in her weave; nonetheless, with all this bad publicity Detroit has been getting between Monica, Kwame, and the car Co. CEO's, I would think that the last thing on there mind would be signing Michael ConVick(t) to the Lions. I am apparently wrong. Rumor has it that the Lions are considering him, which points to two things: one, how desperate the Lions are for a win, and two, how Detroit loves the drama. I am going to petition for the adjective "dirty" to be dropped from describing the South- sorry Nelly- and for Detroit to adopt it. I mean it can't be called the automotive anything anymore, so let's just embrace it, alright? There is no point in denying it, so let's just waive our law breaking flags proudly Dirty Detroit. Welcome to the team Vick, your signing bonus is a house really close the the border full of puppies. Have a good season.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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FYI - it wasn't his wife, it was his neighbor. This does leave a bit unanswered like since when do people in dirty Detroit visit their neighbor's houses? Unless, of course, they're puppy shopping or looking for smack (both the literal and figurative smack). Which leads me to the conclusion that this was the inevitable finale to a trip to the neighbors in the DD.
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