Really?! Really?!???! Really!!?!

For a story that's wrong on pretty much every level, Shawn Merriman allegedly beat up Tila Tequila in a domestic dispute. The most common response, "What is he doing dating her?!?"  Frankly, her departure has been a fantasy for VH1 viewers nationwide for some time!  Most probably imagine choking her to get rid of her not to try and make her stay.

Moreover, Tila Tequila signed a citizen's arrest warrant.  Really?!  They don't even really teach you about that in law school because it never happens in real life, particularly when the arresting party is 5'2" and 98 lbs. and the arrestee is 6'4"/275!  I want to know what she did to restrain him?!  Frankly, this was probably some kinky sexual fantasy gone wrong during which Merriman was already wearing handcuffs.  It's the only plausible answer!

Tequila claims she wasn't drunk during the incident, claiming she got her nickname because she "can't drink," a.k.a. can't handle any liquor because she's "allergic," a.k.a. asian and can't hold it!  This doesn't answer the question of whether she did drink.  Just because she has the tolerance of a 10 year-old midget I'd be inclined to believe Merriman's story!